Lets have a big hip-hooray for the long emo rant that Rachel is going to post without locking, or taking off comments. Let us not, however, shout at her for being a blind bat who knows that so and so doesn't like her and that other so and so's have been lying to her.

Don't do that, because I am up to my eyeballs in bull from everyone in RL apart from Russ, the Twins and Cat (and friends off in uni, obviously).

My day started ordinarily enough. I washed my hair, did some stuff on the net, cut down my Amazon wishlist, commented as kathryn_janeway, tried to comment as givenuponcoffee but was still in a puddle of goo from when I read it earlier.

So at about midday, I started getting ready to go down town. Dried my hair with my new hair dryer (which I love!! It seriously fucking rocks!!! :D) and got to town by about 12:45. Not too bad. Went to the library, had the librarian say, 'He's not been here today.' Yes, we all know who He is. So I said jokingly, 'How did you guess that I wanted to see him!?' :D So I went past Cygnus Books (alternative therapy books sold there... And tarot cards! :D) and was just about to get onto the main road when I saw Catrin and the Twins. So I asked, 'Have you seen Scott?' and they were like, 'We saw him earlier. He's gone to Uni library.' Then we had a very interesting conversation about Scott and this blonde bit called Kate.

Now, I'm gonna own up to believing something without proof, cause you usually trust your best friend implicitly. But from what the girls told me, Kate doesn't exist.

They asked, 'How's your girlfriend?' and he was like, 'What the hell are you talking about?'

Gee thanks. Been made a fool of again.

So I got more from this story. No Kate, but supposedly Someone who hates Haidee wants to ask her out... :: Shakes head :: I thought the idea with dating was to go out with someone you liked, not someone you call a bitch and a muppet and a twat. And not in a nice way, this is in a really mean nasty way. Like, 'She turned off the computer and I said, 'Why did you do that you muppet?' I spent 20 minutes waiting for it to reload cause of her!'

People wonder why I like him. I wonder why I like him! I mean, he'll say things like, 'Yeah I don't fancy you,' fair. If they mean it. If they say they don't like you and really mean it. You don't massage the shoulders of someone you don't fancy (unless it's your job). You don't wrap your arm around the person you don't fancy, nor try and get them to rest their head on your shoulder... And then make them walk like that with you all the way down the pavement of the cwmins (spelling is phonetic! :D). You don't hold their hand in September, and flirt with them, and make passes at someone you don't fancy.

If you don't fancy me, don't do the above! Don't fucking touch me until you have your story straight! Don't go telling some people that you fancy Haidee, then tell your friend, who you supposedly trust and spend a hell of a lot of time with, that you're going out with a girl called Kate. Sort your fucking head out before you loose a friend.

And don't shout at me on MSN, or call me a muppet. Don't call me honey bunny, or Smurfette, or Padawan. Don't give me false hope because it is fucking me up inside. Don't tell me it's all in my head cause everyone, including you, the densest man on the planet, the town librarians and my old Media teacher, see something. And if you're afraid that all those peoples are gonna judge you, don't worry. Not everything revolves around you or me (as I have been told many a time). They have other things to worry about. And if you're worried that Haidee does indeed like you, chill. Ask her out. Everyone knows you're too level headed to ask me out.

To think, I defended you when Mark Richards, Alex and a load of my year thought you were gay. There, you've got their names. Go fucking piss them off. I've had it with you telling me one thing then doing something else. If you wanna hold me around the waist like Russ does with Christina, ask me out. If you just wanna do that as a mind fuck, stop it. I don't need to be twisted any more than I actually do. I'm unsure of things as I am!

And I know he's not going to read it. He's not been on in ages. The only reason he comments here is to piss off Clare, which pisses me off. I wish I saw sooner what a bastard he can be at times...

... Thing is, I still fancy him. Not gonna put any more ammo up here, but I don't like nicknames like Munchkin and Smurfette, but I put up with them. I like them from you!!! I like knowing you have little nicknames for me. The only nicknames I like are things like Rach, Patch, Rachie, Ray-Ray... They're me, but with you I'm Munchkin and I adore it! It's fun... and I realise that this post has gone and fucked up everything between us, but I need the air clear.

So, who is she? Kate? Haidee? One of my cronies? Clare (you hurt the ones you love)? Just tell me. I wish you'd believe me when I say I won't get angry. I won't slap Haidee, I won't stop being friends with the Twins or Cat, Clare's so far away that I don't wanna slap her, I just wanna hug her and have a long conversation with her that I can't have on here because you like fucking things up between us. And I don't even know Kate (if that is a real person). I told you that if I found out you were lying I'd be hurt, and I am...

In other news, twisted_badger I hope you like orange! :D I have a bit of your wishlist done... :)

Thorny hun, wrote a comment (I'll prolly chat to you on MSN or something before you read this, but meh! :D)

Right, off to vent elsewhere, and make advent icon number two... :D

Rach xxx

Great! Now I'm common!

:: Is pissed off ::

Rach xxx